Holiday Chaos: Take Back Control This Season

As the snowflakes gently fall outside, casting a serene silence over the bustling streets, many of us find ourselves caught in a whirlwind of holiday chaos. The pressure to create the perfect festive atmosphere, to host the most memorable gatherings, and to gift the most thoughtful presents can quickly turn a joyous season into a stressful one. For Niro Feliciano, a psychotherapist and author of All is Calmish: How to Feel Less Frantic and More Festive During the Holidays, this was a familiar tale. Growing up, Feliciano's checklist for the holidays looked like a daunting to-do list: host the family gathering, write greeting cards, shop for gifts, decorate, and even peel carrots for Santa's reindeer – all while raising four kids and working a demanding job. The result was a frantic and disconnected Feliciano, who felt more like a frazzled holiday hostess than a joyful participant. Feliciano's story is not unique. Many of us have found ourselves caught in the same cycle of holiday stress, where the pursuit of perfection and the pressure to create lasting memories can leave us feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. But what if we told you that there's a way to break free from this cycle and reclaim the true spirit of the holiday season? It starts with a simple yet profound realization: everything is optional. According to Feliciano, the key to a less frantic holiday season lies in recognizing that we have the power to choose what we prioritize and what we let go of. "We often feel like we're stuck in a script that's been written for us, that we have to do this, that we have to do that," Feliciano explains. "But the truth is, we have the power to rewrite that script and create a holiday season that truly reflects our values and our priorities." For Feliciano, this meant taking a step back and reassessing her holiday traditions. She realized that she didn't have to host the family gathering, write greeting cards, or even decorate the house. In fact, she found that by letting go of some of these obligations, she was able to focus on what truly brought her joy: spending quality time with her loved ones, practicing mindfulness, and engaging in activities that nourished her mind, body, and spirit. Feliciano's approach is not about abandoning the holiday season altogether, but rather about redefining what it means to celebrate. "It's about creating a holiday season that's authentic, that's meaningful, and that's true to who we are," she says. "It's not about checking off a list of tasks, but about cultivating a sense of connection, community, and joy." So, what can you do to create a more mindful and meaningful holiday season? For starters, take a step back and assess your priorities. What are the things that truly bring you joy and connection? What are the things that you can let go of? Be honest with yourself, and don't be afraid to say no to commitments that don't align with your values. As Feliciano notes, "The holiday season is a time for us to come together, to connect with each other, and to cultivate a sense of community and belonging. It's not about creating a perfect facade, but about being our authentic selves and embracing the imperfections that make us human." In the end, it's not about creating a picture-perfect holiday season, but about creating a season that's true to who we are. By embracing the imperfections and letting go of the pressure to be perfect, we can reclaim the true spirit of the holiday season and create a more joyful, more meaningful, and more authentic celebration.